Scam or need? / callous or wary?
Whom do you help and how?
These two women are likely homeless in the winter cold. They are also nonthreatening. I could pass them a small amount of money, and it would be such a painless give, such an easy way to feel good about doing some small thing, rather than just walking on by.
But what I should have done last Friday?
I was just getting in my car after a photo shoot for worthy womens' groups when a 20-something woman approached. She was cradling her hand; her fingers wrapped in a loose, stained bandage. "I don't mean to bother, but I don't have a phone. Could you give me a ride to my mother's house?" she asked. "I hurt my hand."
You can use my phone. "No, that's OK, but could you give me a ride?"
What happened to your hand? "I broke it a while back, and now it 's infected."Â
"Where does your mother live?" I asked, and she named a street in a nearby town, maybe 15 minutes away.
Something tracked wrong, and I said I couldn't give her a ride, but would drive her to the nearby hospital emergency room. "No, because I'd need my mother to give me a ride back," she said.
You can call her from the emergency room, or I can call her to meet you. "No," she said, and giving up, turned and walked away.Â
And there I was, skeptical, and unwilling to help as asked, but also unwilling to be scammed. It bothers me that I did nothing.
What would you have done?
All comments below are so thoughtful and useful. [cf book "The Gift of Fear." I wonder if I have enough of that gift, remembering the young mother who helped the couple whose car had "broken down," and they murdered her.] Also, I am put in mind of traveling in Mexico with my Spanish-speaking Hispanic father 60+ years ago. There were all kinds of people begging; also, selling lottery tickets. We marked both as a measure of real poverty but my dad was especially aware of beggar scams. I was pickpocketed in a similar situation in El Salvador 50 years ago. The world can be a harsh place and hard to discern "reality."
We create bags to hand out that contain a large flip top bottle of spring water, some nutritional bars, some hotel cosmetics and a document I created listing the services offered by Vermont Agency of Human Services ( the info is found at) https://humanservices.vermont.gov/help-and-resources It's a small thing, but I have been warmly thanked by many people when they glance at the contents.