22 Comments
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Carol's avatar

When I first arrived in Japan, a delivery man grabbed my breast. I was so outraged I grabbed his shirt and backed him into a wall, yelling at him. He then knocked me out cold. So be careful, men are always stronger. If you choose to retaliate be ready for the violence that may occur. The picture of the grabber is beautiful, pity he was such an ass.

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

That's an awful story. I am sorry.

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Hilary Dirlam's avatar

😱 yeah, that's happened to me too. Is this really happening? Questioning reality

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Sue Cloutier's avatar

Privilege vs struggle. Expectation vs reality. Experience of culture vs open to possibly. In no particular order. How did you respond?

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

stunned silence, which as another commenter noted was an echo of E. Jean Carroll. I hadnt seen the parallel and obviously it is not as invasive, but my reaction--and I have a sharp mouth on me and see myself as virtually immune to bullies--was just that --stunned silence and then I turned and left.

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Sue Cloutier's avatar

I am always saddened by communication failures.

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

well, i think he communicated quite clearly. :(

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Sue Cloutier's avatar

Sadly so. Important to stay safe.

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Jonathan Allen's avatar

Your work as a photographer certainly exposes you to a range of people. In this case it included a real stinker, along with a polite and friendly fellow. After the fact, it is clear that the facial expressions were clues.

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

But they can also be deceiving. The upper guy tho just radiates hostility doesnt he.

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Susan Forste's avatar

If a woman grabbed a man the way men so often grab women (and yes, it is common), I think most men would immediately react, with physical violence perhaps, certainly with a verbal reply, while stunned silence is a typical response from a woman--and that says so much. Go E. Jean Carroll!

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

yes. In retrospect, I am surprised at myself. but indeed "stunned silence" is the right phrase. and the E. Jean analogy just right. I hadnt linked it.

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carolyn semiglasow's avatar

That was meant to say being. Betting would also be a risk.

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carolyn semiglasow's avatar

It is often in the eyes. Betting close enough to see it is the rub.

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

yes, but there are lots of scammers who live on charm.

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Edie Shedd's avatar

You have seen it all,haven't you!

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

I hope not. ;)

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Larry Hedgpeth's avatar

What happened after he grabbed you?

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

I just walked away, shocked as hell. I think if I had been in the US, I would have at least yelled at him, but it was so brazen, so entitled and mean, I just wanted to get out of his reach. I wonder what I should have done. They say women are most afraid of men that they will kill them; men that women will laugh at them.

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Janet Van Fleet's avatar

Wow, I must not be good at reading expressions. I was actually surprised when I heard what each of them did!

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Sue Cloutier's avatar

I wonder what we would have seen if we had a video of the photographer and the object photographed? Certainly the reactions were different. I wonder if the approach was as well.

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Terry J. Allen's avatar

Interesting. Am I imposing in retrospect what I didnt see before? But the hostility of the top man seems glaring to me.

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